A Child is Born

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A couple of friends of mine just had a baby!

The new arrival had been awaited with great delight and anticipation, the mother giving us all intermittent bulletins on Facebook (a new internet phenomenon described on Wikipedia/Facebook), but evidently the lady concerned has been distracted right after the delivery!

The birth of a wanted child (or even an initially unwanted one) is a cause for rejoicing at some level.  Not the sort of thing when you win a door prize at a Bingo game (OMG, what did you get?  NO WAY!), but a sort of quiet satisfaction.   This feeling is probably built into our genes as a survival characteristic.

In difficult times, among intellectuals of limited means, when the future appears somewhat bleak, it becomes a challenge to the unknown, an act of defiance.  (On the other hand, among the poverty - saddled young women of certain disadvantaged regions in Britain, for instance, it is the temporary fruition of a desperate need to find something innocent to love, which does not turn right around and do something vicious to you, other than poop in its diapers, I suppose!  I have absolutely no doubt that the same phenomenon is at work in the USA; it's just that I know how to avoid those places, and don't in Britain.)

A kid is, socially, a bundle of potential; and especially in societies where many opportunities are available for children, a child can be made familiar with any number of activities.  Among the activities our friends and we were involved in were:

Ballet.  Junior was barely 3 when she was conditionally allowed into a free community ballet class sponsored by the Carnegie Institute of Pittsburgh.  We are grateful!  Later on, the girls joined the Williamsport Civic Ballet, at which they made several very dear friends.

Gymnastics.  Basic, non-competitive community gymnastics for kids, for a nominal fee of around $20 a month, sponsored by our City and the Area Community College.

Swimming for tadpoles, offered by the YMCA.  Unfortunately, junior was pressured to swim competitively, at which point she gave up.

Karate, provided by the Community College, the local Catholic school, The City, and later by the YMCA.  Though a rough-and-tumble activity viewed from the outside, in reality --depending on the flavor of the art you select-- it teaches self-awareness, balance, respect for life, and, surprisingly, non-violence.

Girls Scouts, something that, at least initially, involves only a modest outlay of money.  (Of course you have to buy cookies.)

Tennis, provided by our Township.  You have to stay away from "Little League Parents," highly competitive parents who throw their all into the game.  Is it worth playing at all, if you don't play to win?  You have to decide for yourself!

Ping Pong, provided by a private individual.  The work was too much for the person concerned, and the program was dismantled.

Our girl was always slightly-built and petite, but the large variety of physical activities went a long way towards offsetting her natural disadvantages.  In some ways she was bullied mercilessly, on occasion being violently stuffed into large (hopefully clean) trash cans by her more gigantic classmates, but amazingly she never retaliated, except verbally.  Her comment was: "I think he likes me, but he's silly."  On the other hand, she was one of the first to volunteer for Touch Football, when played in the school gym, and unfortunately one of the goons tackled her and crushed her against the bleachers.  I'm not sure how much of this resilience is attributable to her physical self-confidence, learned in her various activities, and how much was an intrinsic part of her personality.  My suspicion is that the activities should get the credit.

Last, but not least, were the arts and crafts activities sponsored by our Township over the summer months, essentially free babysitting for the weekday mornings.  (Later on, she actually helped at these.)  And then, Theater in school and college.  This last is obviously a whole different ballgame, even if everyone can provide something in a theatrical project.  Project-oriented activities are famously good for young people to learn cooperation, time management, and some leadership skills.

When Junior was 12, not knowing any better, I got her set up with a paper route.  This was an activity of quite a different sort, but she managed to bring all her talents to bear on the activity.  She made friends with the dogs of all the 80-plus homes on her route, got her mother and me to help her, and kept careful track of the very specific instructions as to where to put the paper.  Some families wanted the paper on the front steps, and she had only to ring the bell and leave.  Others wanted the paper between the front door and the storm door; others wanted it in the garage, weighted by a brick, and so on.  Some of the pets wanted her to throw a ball to fetch, and were ready with the ball as she walked up.  ("Amber, girl, you have to let go of the ball first!")

Somewhere, she had learned to make the basic Crane, in origami.  So, one Christmas, she made a Christmas-tree ornament of each of her customers in red foil.  Needless to say, she made out like a bandit on Christmas bonuses.  By the end of her two-to three- year spell at delivering papers, she had $3000, with which she bought a futon.  This is what she sleeps on now!  Though this seems to be turning into a Hymn to Her...

The point is to get started early on activities at which your child gets to meet a variety of kids from different backgrounds.  One must learn to relate to people of all economic strata at a personal level; this is particularly important for anyone who goes into an occupation that involves constantly meeting new people.  Colleges and Universities know this, and it is why they give scholarships to increase the ethnic and sociological mix in the schools.  Young people comfortable with a wide variety of people are more useful to certain kinds of employers.  A young fellow only comfortable with other kids of the exact same sociological slice is really a liability to most employers, and an employed graduate is much more useful to the Alma Mater, as anyone in Academia knows.  (At very large schools, however, one occasionally finds the various demographic sectors insulating themselves from each other.)

Fortunately, both of us were not fully employed, and could spend the time busing junior back and forth.  You have to realize that not all the activities listed above were engaged in by the same child at the same time.