A private response to public tragedy

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Friends:

I don't want to comment excessively on the emotional public response to Friday's killings in Connecticut (2012-12-14); sincere grief and empathy is healthy, and it would be inhuman to deny its expression.

But the frequency of this type of impersonal murder spree is rising, and how can we continue to respond with sincere grief if we immerse ourselves in these tragedies?  We will inevitably become inured to the pain of others, and over the years our response will become cynical.

I am determined to try and respond to this sort of impersonal mass-murders at a level that is inversely proportional to my distance from the incident.  I would take note of a killing spree in Arizona or Colorado, but I will try not to investigate the circumstances too deeply.  Connecticut is next door, and I cannot avoid reacting to it more intensely.  I do not envy Barack Obama, who must speak words of comfort on every such occasion; his first response was admirable.  But at a prayer vigil held for the victims, he ventured into religious mumbo-jumbo about the prize of immortality.

Some writers have speculated that the media attention to the perpetrators is an incentive to mentally unbalanced individuals to try to top the violence they see in the news with a violent show of their own.  Disasters and controversy is gold to the media, and they're never going to give it up.  A borderline insane person cannot be dissuaded from a violent deed by arguments or laws; it must be by hindering his or her access to murder weapons.  (Notice that few of these murderers are women.  I almost fear to mention the fact, in case the trend reverses.)

The preciousness of life is a concept extended from the value we place on our loved ones.  As we grow older, we appreciate the lives and the talents and the company of people, especially young people, less closely connected to us.  A young couple values their children far more than the children of their neighbors.  But as time goes on, they absorb more people and kids into their circle of concern.  It is inevitable; it is in our genes; the most intelligent of us are most delighted by the people around us (even if some of us shrink from prolonged, intense contact on occasion).  This is a major tool that Darwin has given the Human Race, that we're ultimately in favor of the progress and achievements of not just our families, but our neighbors, our State, our Nation, and all nations.

But I just can't grieve at the same level for all such crimes.  I will knit the information into my scarf, like Madame Defarge, and continue to work.

The time to love the perpetrator (but hate the crime) is before the crime is committed.  To lock away your firearms, to stop abusing young people, (many victims of abuse, I believe, turn into homicidal maniacs, but I could be wrong), and to address all issues that could lead to this type of insanity: avoiding drug, tobacco and alcohol abuse, thoughtful child-rearing, family life, these are all ways that give potential homicides a different path.

Too long we have depended on the fairy-tales of religion to keep kids comforted and focused on "The Good Life."   But we can't go back to Religion with a cynical attitude, no matter how admirable the reason.  We must work harder to give meaning to young people, if it is the perceived meaninglessness of life that incites them to violence.  There is no special meaning to Life: I think the point is to be of service to whatever extent it is possible, and to delight in the bounty of what we still have to enjoy, and the opportunities to draw the attention of our friends to it; what else is there?  We're slowly killing the Planet, but it refuses to die, and continues to support life beyond all expectations!  If we show them the good things that there are, that will give them time to discover the bad things for themselves when they're ready for them!

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