My Own Funeral

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Let us be absolutely clear about this: I'm not planning to hand in my slide rule in the immediate future; I have quite a lot of mileage left in me.  But I did get to thinking that, when I die, being an atheist, my family would be at a loss as to what to do with me.

1.  Well, I would certainly like to be buried, without embalming.  Cremation is an elegant idea, but what the world needs right now is not elegance, but practicality.  This is just one place where the Muslims are way ahead of us; they bury their dead wrapped in unbleached vegetable-fiber cloth, enclosed within five boards (four sides and top; the bottom is left open to the earth) of untreated lumber.  Treated lumber contains insect repellent, whereas what we want here is to let the insect (and other sub-surface critters) to have at the body, in the natural order of things.  Cremation, in contrast, pollutes the air rather fiercely.  There is heat pollution, and not least, release of a number of gases that mess up the air and contribute to the greenhouse effect.  The Ozone Layer alone is probably left unaffected.  So I urge everyone to consider popularizing the Islamic burial traditions, which really do not even require a coffin.

2.  Afterwards, the friends of the deceased (which means "the lately dead" or "recently departed", rather than "the sick person", which would be spelled "diseased") traditionally gather for a funeral, or a memorial ceremony.  (Actually, now I remember, the funeral is before burying, and the memorial is roughly a month after.  A wake is, er, I don't know.  It is an Irish thing, and I'm not Irish at time of writing.)

In a religious funeral ceremony, the ostensible purpose is to commit the soul of the absent friend to the care of God.  In actual fact, it is for a ritual comfort to the bereaved.  It is hard to have someone die on you, and then suddenly find oneself all alone; at least at a funeral you get fussed over, until you're finally ready to be by yourself.

In Christian rituals and ceremonies, make no mistake, there is always an element of education.  Propaganda is hurled at the audience at every opportunity; this is not what is bad about it, but that it is propaganda about unworthy and unnecessary beliefs that actually hinder society and individuals.  So it seems reasonable that when an atheist dies, even if propaganda is not indulged in, it is an opportunity for reflection and education.

3.  I would dearly like some music.  At the very least, (or even in addition to other things that might go down,) a musical concert with the favorite music of the late departed would make enormous sense.  Play a lot of Bach, Brahms, Mozart, maybe even Beethoven, heck, even Rachmaninov's Vocalise.  (Stay away from Barber's Adagio, because that was used for an Agnus Dei for choir by Barber himself.  Not that I would object to Christian music, but that I was so decidedly an atheist, and from such a young age, that Christians would probably object to having their music sullied by association with me!!!)

[Added later: My friend Susan suggested Schubert, and I stumbled upon An die Musik: To Music, sung here by Kathleen Ferrier.  Schubert, who died young, did nevertheless re-invent German art-song.  His predecessors had brought the aria to great heights, but Schubert showed how the piano-accompanied Lied, or song, could be a vehicle for poetry, where the text was at least as important as the music.

Here is Elisabeth Schwartzkopf singing this powerful song: Im Abendrot, by the post-Wagnerian Richard Strauss.  The same song is sung by American Renee Fleming, if you care to look for it.  The long lines demand great breath control, and Ms Fleming does a great job, though she does breathe all over the place.  Her voice sounds lovely even in the lower register.]

4.  I would like some readings from rational and wise atheists.  I'm not into reading inspirational atheistic writings (or inspirational writings of any sort), but I wish there were some I was familiar with.  Part of what Christians do so well, is to give inspiration and encouragement to each other; if only they would do it for the right things!  The most inspirational things written by atheists [that I know of, anyway] have been to point out why atheism is good, rather than evil, but this has usually been done by pointing the unavoidable finger at religion, and one wishes to keep the tone nice and positive.  Bertrand Russel was great; he would not have prayed for anyone's soul.  [Note: he was ruthless at condemning religion.]  Now there's a guy who would have laughed at taking out a prayer contract on B. Obama!

5.  I would like some humor!  If my estate were large enough to fund hiring a comedian or humorist, that would be awesome!  That Jon Stewart is really funny, and evidently an alumnus of William and Mary.  I would have said that either William or Mary would have suited me fine.

6.  I would love some non-religious song, and this was going to be the central point of this post: is there inspirational song that does not invoke religious ideas?  I guess this is going to be a summer project for me!  It was never an issue for me personally, since I was perfectly happy to listen to Christian sacred music.  But it is a philosophical obligation to find out what is out there, and I should.  I will report if and when I find enough interesting stuff for you.  So there; you have lots of stuff to do when I'm ready to push up the daisies and dandelions, the privilege of anyone whose body is not embalmed.  (If you're embalmed, you're not going to be pushing up anything; your neighbors would have to do it.)

A.