This just in ...

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The Onion reports that there's a rising trend for parents to have their children raised at school.  It seems that child-rearing is no longer a feasible hobby for overworked American adults.

The question arises: why don't they offshore the whole thing?  Why not send the kids to the Sudan, for instance, where there are thousands of parents who have lost their kids?  Or Bangalore, where some competent young Indian fellow can babysit a couple of kids while obfuscating over the phone to some hapless caller from Michigan?  And let's not forget the Irish, who need something to take their minds off the threat from predatory pedophilic priests.  Try saying that ten times fast.  I mean, fast, ten times.

Honestly, most young parents are discovering that their parents did a sloppy job of explaining to them how to bring up kids.  It won't be long before there's remedial child-rearing being taught in 9th grade.  Some authorities believe that, like Algebra, remedial sex education may have to be taught to incoming college freshmen, for a minimal number of credits, like, say, 2.  Accrediting agencies across the USA are looking into an exit sex test for graduating seniors.  (Show us you can do it right, or no degree for you.)

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